The Voice of Truth

In my quiet time this morning I realized that I have been pretty fixated on all the "wrongs" going on around me. Mind you, I am a very positive person, a glass half full girl to say the least. So this is really unlike me. Yes, drama seems to be unfolding around every corner, however, there is so much GOOD going on too! Today, I am choosing to concentrate on all of the blessings God has bestowed upon me instead of focusing on the "wrongs". Isn't that just like the enemy to take our focus off of God?!

I have been reading the book of Matthew these past couple of weeks. God put it on my heart to read the entire new testament which, I am pretty excited about. I am going slow and listening to what He has to say to me through His word. Here are a few of the things I have taken away:

"Come to me, all you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matt 11:28-30)

"Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid" (Matt 14:27)

"You of little faith" he said, "why did you doubt?" (Matt 14: 31)

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matt 19:26)

"If you believe, you will receive what you ask for in payer" (Matt 21:22)

Which made me think, God is with me through all of this. Through the good and the bad, He is right beside me. He knows what I have been feeling and He knows how it is all going to play out. HE KNOWS!! I must carry on, with my focus on Him. ALL things are possible with God. Not some things, ALL things. So today I am choosing to believe MY GOD. Not my feelings, but His word, which is living and breathing.

The lyrics below are from The Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns:
They speak volumes to my soul.


Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

If God Is Good

Randy Alcorn has written a new book called "If God Is Good". It's sitting on my night stand among the many books I am reading this semester for school. I have yet to open it. This morning I received some really sad news from one of my best friends. Since I don't have permission from her to write about any of it, I'm not. What I will do is ask for prayer for her and her hubby. Would you pray for their hearts and for their hope. Would you just cover them both in prayer please? I would so appreciate it and I am sure they would too.

In the midst of all of this I wonder how many people ask the question, If God is good, why is this happening? I have asked the question myself many times. But, because of my relationship with God I know that through all of my circumstances God is always good. He is constant and He is with me. But what about those who don't know Him? How do they see that in the midst of their storm God is there and He is real?

Honestly, I don't have the answers and sometimes I think that is okay. Sometimes silence is the only thing that is needed. God will work out the rest. Sometimes words are too much and just get in the way. What's the old saying "silence is golden". God can work through our silence. When we lack the words, just being there is sometimes enough.

As I was rollerblading this morning, this song came on and I thought, perfect. When I can't find the words sometimes music will say everything that I am thinking. So here is a song that I thought said everything that I was thinking but couldn't get out.

Learning Lessons

In the midst of all the drama surrounding our family lately, we did manage to have an amazing Thanksgiving. My parents were here from NC, which was a very nice surprise. They arrived last Thursday and spent the week with us. Cousins also drove down from Georgia and my aunt, grandmother and nephew came up from Sarasota. My BFF and her family also came. It was truly a day to be Thankful for all of my blessings. Even in the midst of our current circumstances I have so much to be thankful for.

Yesterday, I drove down to Sarasota with my parents and my nephew to pick up my nieces. The six of us went to lunch and a movie. As I sat at lunch listening to my nieces (the drama surrounds them and my nephew) I could literally feel my blood boiling. Have you ever felt that? After the movie on the drive home one of my nieces started crying. And I sat very silent. Inside my heart was racing and a million thoughts were swirling through my mind. My mom asked if I was ok and I said, "I am trying to set an example and not say what I really want to say". With that my youngest niece said, "Oh Aunt Jen, you are always a good example, just let it out". I couldn't. God had zipped my lips!!! Literally. I kept hearing him say, "don't say a word". So I didn't, which is HUGE for me. Normally, when anyone I care about is hurt or hurting I am the first one to attack who is causing the pain. However, God is teaching me a lesson. He is showing me that He will take care of it in His time. He is telling me that I need to be an example to these girls and remain calm and in control for them. So with boiling blood and through gritted teeth, I told them both what God wanted me to tell them.

I truly believe that God is in control. The Bible tells us to pray for our enemies, which is the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do.

Reluctantly, I am doing it.

He is slowly changing my heart.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19-21

We'll see how it all plays out. I am praying for softened hearts and for God's healing. Praying that blinders would fall off of some eyes. Praying that I can remain in control!!

Only with God, only with God.

Looks can be deceiving

There has been too much going on in our family lately. Our family, from the outside, looks pretty good, but on the inside it's fractured. Not my immediate family (hubbs and kids) but extended family. I slowly started to see it happen. It was just a little stress fracture at first but the fracture has widened and I'm not sure how it is going to get repaired. After three weeks this person finally called me yesterday. This person does not like confrontation but in my heart I know that I had to say everything that needed to be said. I myself do not like confrontation either, it's very hard for me but yesterday I asked God for the strength, for the courage, and to confront in love. I'm not sure how this was received. I wound up crying at the end and this person told me that I was crying for nothing, then it happened, my phone dropped the call!! Of all times to drop a call! Neither one of us called back, I believe everything was said that needed to be said.

I am laying it at the feet of Jesus because I cannot carry it anymore. My heart has been broken over this and I have to let go and give it to God. Only God can change hearts. Only He can soften and repair them. I cannot, no matter how much I want to. There are quite a few of us involved in this situation and the damage is pretty severe. Hearts are hurting and wounds are open. Big wounds that are going to leave scars. The kind of scars that aren't so pretty when they heal. Which reminded me.

There is another who bares scars and plenty of them. He bares them for me, for you, for all of us in this world. He did it so that we can have life and have it to the full. He did it because He loves me and He loves you.

Jesus is the balm for our scars. He is the salve that soothes our souls.
There is no other.

The soldiers led Jesus away into the palace (that is, the Praetorium) and called together the whole company of soldiers. They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him. And they began to call out to him, "Hail, king of the Jews!" Again and again they struck him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him. And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him out to crucify him. John 15:16-19.

So when I think I've had enough, when I think I can't bare anymore, I am reminded of the ONE who bared it all. The one who took on ALL of our sins so we could be free.
He paid the ultimate price for us.

Until the Cows Come Home.....

We had some excitement in our neighborhood on Saturday... 4 cows were wandering in our neighbors backyard! Of course we all had to run out and take pictures of them. All the kids thought they were just great.
They wandered through 4 our our neighbors backyards and then crossed the street into our front yard. I only tell you this because we just had the sod replaced in our front yard and some new landscaping put in. My hubbs is over the top about watering it and keeping it looking "new". As the cows crossed the street into our yard I couldn't help but laugh! They walked through our new landscaping as my husband was behind them saying "shoo, shoo". It was pretty comical. When they finally decided to leave our home, well, how do I put this nicely, let's just say they "fertilized" before they left! I could not stop laughing!
My poor husband!!

One of those.....months?

I have to be honest, this last month has been H.A.R.D.! I have found myself doubting everything I believe. Don't you hate that? I do! It seems I am being hit from every side with no place to run for cover. I keep trying to block the blows that are being thrown at me however, I don't think I am doing such a great job. Some of the punches have gotten through and have hit me square in the face. I find myself responding to things in a way in which I normally wouldn't and then thinking why on earth did I do THAT? UGH! Can anyone relate?

This morning in my quiet time I was journaling and telling God that I am holding on.... barely. It feels as if the dark is creeping in, surrounding me and eventually I am just going to let go. Then He reminded me that He is my safe place. He is where I run when I feel the world closing in around me. Here is what He gave me:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and
my fortress
my God, in whom I trust"

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under
his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys the midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling
even the LORD, who is my refuge
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against
a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the
serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the LORD,
"I will rescue him; I will protect him, for
he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation"
Psalm 91

I am so glad that He is BIG enough. So glad that He knows just what I need. So glad He can handle my doubts and my tantrums and still love me more than anyone ever could.

Aren't you?

I'm Not Who I Was

My good friend Melinda posted the other day about cliques, if you'd like to read it please go here. It got me to thinking about my life, where I've been, where I am now, and where I am going. There is a song by Brandon Heath called "I'm not who I was" that speaks volumes about who he once was and who has become. Every time I hear it I think back over my life and can pull up images of the girl I once was. I thank GOD daily that I'm not who I was. He has transformed my life and continues to transform it on a daily basis. There are many people that I have hurt along the way and  many people I placed blame on in regards to circumstances in my life. I didn't think much back then in regards to others feelings. I was mostly concerned about my own. For that I am truly sorry. But, because God transforms lives, I can say that I am not that girl anymore. I so value the hearts of others and I try desperately to treat others as I would want to be treated, as Christ would treat others. So I thought I would share this song with all of you. I bet many of you can relate! We are new creatures in Christ and because of Him "we are not who we once were".

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come"

2 Corinthians 5:17